Engagement — Vākdān, Nishchitartham
The formal engagement ceremony is an integral but not essential part of a Hindu marriage.
It is the occasion at which the parents of the couple declare their agreement and satisfaction with the wedding arrangements and agree to perform the wedding ceremony at the appropriate time and to care for their respective children in law.
There is the exchanging of gifts in order to ratify the agreement.
The bride is usually given some gold ornaments and clothing.
The groom is usually given a gold chain or ring and some clothing as well.
In some communities there is also an exchanging of gifts between the in-laws and siblings.
A feast is provided for all the guests.
If you wish then a formal notice of intent to perform the wedding called a LAGNA-PATRIKA is signed and exchanged between the parents of the couple.
Process
(Community variations are there but the general format is as follows)
N.B. If you wish to exchange the formal notice of intent (Lagan Patrika) you will have to inform the purohit of the names of the fathers, grandfathers and great grandfathers on both sides as well as of your gotra (clan – if known) so that he can prepare the Notices.
Required Items
Coconuts [with husk if possible] - 3
Bananas - 6
Seasonal fruit - 4 kinds
Betel leaves - 1 packet
Betel nuts (whole) - 5
Turmeric powder - 50 g
Flowers - 3 bunches
White rice - 1kg
Camphor blocks - 5
Incense sticks - 1 pkt
Sweet meats (mithai) - 500 g
2 garlands for the young couple
Set of new clothes for each and other gifts as required by tradition
Paper towels (or hand towels) - 1 roll
Banana leaves - 1
Mango leaves - 10
Brass trays - 3
It is the occasion at which the parents of the couple declare their agreement and satisfaction with the wedding arrangements and agree to perform the wedding ceremony at the appropriate time and to care for their respective children in law.
There is the exchanging of gifts in order to ratify the agreement.
The bride is usually given some gold ornaments and clothing.
The groom is usually given a gold chain or ring and some clothing as well.
In some communities there is also an exchanging of gifts between the in-laws and siblings.
A feast is provided for all the guests.
If you wish then a formal notice of intent to perform the wedding called a LAGNA-PATRIKA is signed and exchanged between the parents of the couple.
Process
(Community variations are there but the general format is as follows)
- Ganesha Puja
- The parents of the couple make a formal agreement to marry their children off.
- A notice of intent to perform the wedding is prepared by the purohit is exchanged between the parents.
- Clothes are exchanged between the couple.
- The couple retire to change into their new clothes (optional).
- The couple are garlanded by the parents. Groom’s mother garlands the bride. Bride’s father garlands the groom. (This is optional)
- The couple prostrate to their parents and elders and receive blessings.
N.B. If you wish to exchange the formal notice of intent (Lagan Patrika) you will have to inform the purohit of the names of the fathers, grandfathers and great grandfathers on both sides as well as of your gotra (clan – if known) so that he can prepare the Notices.
Required Items
Coconuts [with husk if possible] - 3
Bananas - 6
Seasonal fruit - 4 kinds
Betel leaves - 1 packet
Betel nuts (whole) - 5
Turmeric powder - 50 g
Flowers - 3 bunches
White rice - 1kg
Camphor blocks - 5
Incense sticks - 1 pkt
Sweet meats (mithai) - 500 g
2 garlands for the young couple
Set of new clothes for each and other gifts as required by tradition
Paper towels (or hand towels) - 1 roll
Banana leaves - 1
Mango leaves - 10
Brass trays - 3