Engagement — Vākdān, Nishchitartham


The formal engagement ceremony is an integral but not essential part of a Hindu marriage.

 It is the occasion at which the parents of the couple declare their agreement and satisfaction with the wedding arrangements and agree to perform the wedding ceremony at the appropriate time and to care for their respective children in law.

There is the exchanging of gifts in order to ratify the agreement.

The bride is usually given some gold ornaments and clothing.

The groom is usually given a gold chain or ring and some clothing as well.

In some communities there is also an exchanging of gifts between the in-laws and siblings.

A feast is provided for all the guests.

If you wish then a formal notice of intent to perform the wedding called a LAGNA-PATRIKA is signed and exchanged between the parents of the couple.

 

                                                                        Process
                    (Community variations are there but the general format is as follows)
  • Ganesha Puja
  • The parents of the couple make a formal agreement to marry their children off.
  • A notice of intent to perform the wedding is prepared by the purohit is exchanged between the parents.
  • Clothes are exchanged between the couple.
  • The couple retire to change into their new clothes (optional).
  • The couple are garlanded by the parents. Groom’s mother garlands the bride. Bride’s father garlands the groom. (This is optional)
  • The couple prostrate to their parents and elders and receive blessings.

N.B. If you wish to exchange the formal notice of intent (Lagan Patrika) you will have to inform the purohit of the names of the fathers, grandfathers and great grandfathers on both sides as well as of your gotra (clan – if known) so that he can prepare the Notices.

                                                        Required  groceries.

coconuts [with husk if possible]   3       
bananas 6 and seasonal fruit 4 kinds  
betel leaves      1 packet          
betel nuts  (whole)  5      
turmeric powder    50 gms          
flowers        3 bunches
white rice  1kg                
camphor blocks            5    
incense sticks      1 pkt           
Sweet meats (mitai)   500 gms   
2 garlands for the young couple.     
Set of new clothes each and other gifts as required by tradition
paper towels (or hand towels)    1 roll      Banana leaves    1
Mango leaves - 10            
Brass trays     3